A Call from our Environment

          ¹A massive rock slide-debris avalanche occurred on 17 February 2006 in the Philippine province of Southern Leyte that caused widespread damage and loss of life. The deadly landslide followed a ten-day period of heavy rains and a minor earthquake (magnitude 2.6 on the Richter scale). The official death toll was 1,126. The whole Guinsaugon village in the town of Saint Bernard along with its residents were buried alive.

    September 26, 2009, typhoon Ondoy, with an International name of Ketsana, hit the Philippines with a force known to be the worst typhoon in Philippine history. Many families were unprepared with the flash floods that came with it. It was recorded that more than 300 people were dead and nearly P9 billion in total was incurred in damages to agriculture and infrastructure.

 

            Another massive typhoon in the name of Sendong, with an international name of Washi, surpassed the Ondoy typhoon when it made landfall on December 17, 2011. Calamitous flash floods, focusing mainly in the Mindanao area, resulted in at least 1,268 fatalities. It was cited that the flash floods were caused by illegal logging and collapsed dams.

              What have caused these tragedies that resulted not only in damage to agriculture and infrastructure, but to loss of lives even? Was it possible that these could have been prevented?

               Most causes were blamed to be the people’s wrongdoing to the environment. The most ubiquitous factors are improper waste disposal, deforestation caused by illegal logging, poor farming, and poor water management which results to collapsed dams. While it can be hard to control illegal loggers and make changes to water management and farming strategies, we can instill in each of us the proper waste management. Improper waste disposal to the streets clog the water drainage bringing on floods even with slight rainfall. Since we cannot watch over illegal loggers over time, we can commit to planting even a single tree to deforested places. Roots from trees hold soil during rains preventing erosion.

                Two thousand years ago, we were given by the Almighty with a perfect world. But with the advancement of technology and the increase in population, the environment suffered. It is high time that each of us should be mindful that everything has a limit. Floods and landslides are only minor consequences. If we don’t care for our environment, something even bigger and catastrophic can happen: global warming. Let us not think solely of ourselves but to future generations as well. What will be left for our grand children to enjoy if we have already destroyed it?

               Friends of Environment (www.foenv.com or blogs.foenv.com) are all those wonderful people who are making an effort to keep the planet 'world' clean in their day to day life. We can indeed make a difference by our small deeds in caring for and protecting our environment. Let us be one and act now!

1	http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2006_Southern_Leyte_mudslide Images: Google Search

When Boredom Strikes

   This is a write up I have created out of the blue, while waiting for my end of shift. Nothing really romantic. I kinda lost my sweet bone that day. Haha! But I decided to post it here, perhaps hoping someone can reflect on it. I dunno, maybe with spending time wisely, or reminiscing the old days...

     Doodle... Doodle... Mr. Boredom pays a visit again. Sitting in front of the computer, resolving usual customers' issues, waiting for every tick-tock of the clock until it strikes 4:00 PM, and finally, end of shift. This is the usual scenario and gets kind of boring. I miss the good, old days - the chatting with classmates, the "Ma'am naman!" whenever a quiz came unannounced, the burning of midnight candle when exams come, and the never-fading line, "1/4 Ma'am?!" Hahaha. I miss being young and carefree. Whenever I see kids getting ready for school with their uniforms on, I taste schooldays in the air. I would go back reminiscing the things I've done, and those I didn't do. I would occasionally feel a lump in my throat remembering the people who were once a part of my life, wondering where they could be now.

     No matter how grown up I may seem, there's still that little part of immaturity and childishness. Yet, unlike when I was younger, I know better now. I know better enough to bear in mind that every action - whether good or a bad - will always have its share of consequence. I used to be an impulsive gal, most of the time acting on a rush. But things have changed. Time and experience made me contemplate things before doing or deciding something.

     Ah, how time flies so fast! Looking back, it was as if yesterday when I first got ready for school. I can still feel the excitement of using my first bag, paper, pencil and reading my first book. I remembered the very first people I learned to call "best friends". There are moments when I wish I could go back to being a kid again.

     But we can't always stay little. Like everything else, we need to grow and find out our purpose in this vast universe. We must face our responsibilities. It's just so funny that when I was still young, I wanted to grow up in just one night. When I was still studying, I wanted so bad to work. Now that I'm all grown up and working everyday, I miss my childhood and school days. But I think it wouldn't hurt if one of these ordinary days, we experience being carefree again. Play in the rain without worrying of acquiring flu. Eat all the candies and chocolates there are without thinking of toothaches. Giggling over cute boys during sleepovers. Running barefoot in the grasses, chasing butterflies. Just one day. And maybe, just maybe, this boredom in the real world would be gone. Time check: 4:00 PM. Clock out.

My Desperate Cry

Not so very long ago, my mom and I seemed to be in two different worlds that every now and then would clash leaving behind scars so deep it took years to fade. Both pride dominated, we had a very hard time understanding each other. I made my share of mistakes, she made hers. I even came to the point of rebellion... But now, things have mellowed and I guess, time started healing the wounds and the scars brought about by the past. Although there were still indifferences, but we tried our best to work on it. After all, family is eternal.

This next blog was written on December 30, 2007 at 12:35 a.m. when I was still on the period of my rebellion. All the hurts and hatred, the disappointment and frustrations, all the blames were poured down here. Strong words were used to justify the emotion it contained.


"Am I that hard to love and understand?" - a question that just keeps on reverberating in my mind. You see, I once had a very happy childhood. We were a picture of a happy family. Of course, there were trying times but we outwitted all of them with smiling faces. Until one man entered the scene and messed up not only our relationship as a family, but my entire life as well...

When I first met Mr. Long-Forgotten Past (his real name I couldn't bear to speak), I thought he was simply perfect for me. I was blinded by, at that time, what I called "love". But as I got to know him, and when I started to open my eyes, I saw the demon hidden beneath the facet of a soft-spoken and kind-hearted man. Trying to get rid of his dangerous claws that were already clasping me with a grip that won't even allow me to breath, I broke up with the relationship that I now considered a prison cell.

I thought that that was the end of all my agonies; only to be shackled by what he could possibly do just to win me back. I don't know how he did it, but he got my mother into a conspiracy of finding ways for me to get back to him. He explained it was just because of "love"; but I'd prefer to call it "obsession". And the person I once considered my "bestest (if ever that word exists) best friend" now became my worst enemy - my mother. I pleaded her not to meddle with my feelings, but she remained deaf. When I fell in love with someone else and was willing to fight for that love, she interfered until we have no other choice left but to give up. I defended myself and aired out my grievances but the only person she would listen to was the demon she was working with!

Furious by all these things, I rebelled! I threw away my image of a sweet, innocent gal. I went to different discos and parties, drank insatiably until my knees felt like jellies, cursed and fought with whomever I want to, and dated several men that I know she would surely detest. I even came to the point of neglecting my studies and made several suicidal attempts. And whenever she would send someone to scold me or force me to be with the person that I no longer love, only ablaze my rage and determination to do whatever it is that she doesn't want me to do.

Everyday, I wore a mask and pretended that I am unaffected by all the issues she was throwing against me. Imagine, my own mom humiliating and criticizing me to so many people?! Saying straight to my face that the only person I'm bound to be with for the rest of my life is that long-forgotten past! Her words stabbed me like a newly-bought knife, over and over again, but did I ever show her I was weak? No! I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing me affected as the end-result of everything. Only my pillows, the ceiling, and the walls of the comfort room know everything. Only these things saw the tears I've been hiding from so many people, and the sobs I so-long suppressed. I'm human, after all.

But one day, I got so tired that it made me numb. She had done everything, every possible way that would ruin me and make me crawl back to whom she wants me to be. She even poisoned my younger siblings' mind and turned them against me; and, much to my dismay, won the sympathy of countless people who never got the chance to hear my side of the story but deliberately threw their judgments at me. I wanted to yell to their faces the real truth but before I could even utter a word, they would stare at me and say, "You really are promiscuous!" How could I ever prove to them that I am not what my mother have been telling them if they won't even give me a single chance?! I'm different! But damn, these words remained unspoken...

Until this very day, I'm still acting numb. All the "why's" I kept at the back of my mind. I guess I got used to all her criticisms and weird actuation. I already taught myself to see her as a stranger and not my own mother; for that person died the very day she conspired with that devil incarnate into man. I guess I'm just too fed up that I can no longer find it in my heart to forgive both of them.

But as I recall the good times we once had, I would feel emotionally torn apart, from head to toe, as bullets of tears silently run down my face, stinging the every existence of my body. How I wish and what I would give just for those memories to remain as they were - untainted. But now, with tears choking me up, passing for my breath trying to keep it all in only to realize that I can't! I can't hold it and I can't hide no more! With the past haunting me and the future circling around me, with its uncertainties dizzying me, all I want is for her to hear my desperate cry. Am I that hard to love and understand?! Why did you change right before my very eyes and became someone I no longer knew?! Why did you leave me and turned your back on me when I needed you most?!...

The Stupidest Ampalaya with Egg Mistake!

Ever made a stupid mistake when you were cooking a viand? I mean, by stupid, is forgetting something that will really spoil the whole dish. Ever experienced that? And the frustration that readily follows? Argh! I did. That's why although I opt to write here romantically-inclined stuffs, I preferred to share this one annoying, but quite funny, experience.

You see, being anemic (perhaps brought by my pregnancy) and having heard stuffs that ampalaya (in english 'bitter gourd') helps anemia, I told my hubby that I wanted to have ampalaya with eggs. So, we bought the ingredients and while walking home, I was refreshing in my mind the steps in cooking such. I am not a good cook, I admit. Truth be told, my husband cooks way better off than me. As in a zillion times better. But then, I wanted to share some of the work so I told myself, and him, that maybe I can help prepare it while he's still cooking rice. Boasting about the right steps in the preparation, thinking I can really do it, we both agreed to the idea.

And so, I busied myself first with the spices - crushing the garlic, peeling the onion, and slicing the tomatoes. I felt good about what I was doing and I remembered him telling me that for the best results, especially when it comes to cooking, add some love. I concentrated despite the tear-stained eyes (blame the onion for making me cry). And then I beat the eggs and mixed them with Magic Sarap. Just when I was finished slicing the ampalaya to its desired sizes and rinsing it with water, my hubby came to check the 'progress' of my work. Hesitantly, I asked him the amount of salt to wash with the ampalaya. You see, in order for the ampalaya not to be too bitter, you must mix it with salt until such time that its juice comes off. That juice is then discarded because it carries the bitter taste. Smiling, he told me I can mix a handful of salt. And so I did. After discarding the juice, I then called out to him and said I was already finished. He then took all that I had prepared and went on to cook another masterpiece.

Waiting for him to be finished, I started browsing the net, feeling good about myself. It was actually my first time to prepare such. When he finally called me out for lunch, I hastily jumped off the bed and was excited to see the result. Of course, part of the hard work was mine. But then, my excitement (and a bit rumbling of the stomach) faded when I saw the look on his face. Something's wrong, I know for sure. I asked him and in answer, he let me taste the viand. My face twisted when it was too salty. And then it hit me. I forgot to rinse it with water after soaking it with salt! Stupid of me! Due to too much excitement about the idea that I was actually preparing it, I completely forgot that some of the salt granules do not melt and it stick with the ampalaya. That's why rinsing it with water afterward is a must. Seeing my reaction, my husband couldn't help but laugh while asking,"Kalimot ka'g waswas sa tubig noh? (You forgot to rinse it with water?)" And I can only laugh along with him to ease up the frustration building inside me. I totally blew it! Sensing I was starting to get agitated eventhough I was smiling, hubby hugged me and said, it can still be eaten; although we would really look like having some diet.

The truth? I think only less than 10 slices were eaten. Up to this moment, the poor ampalaya with egg remained in its container. Huh! Such an experience. But it sure taught me well. I'd better watch out the next time I volunteer. =)

45 Painful Things

This isn't totally mine. A friend of mine sent me this stuff I guess 2 years ago. Upon browsing my notes, I happen to read it again. Touched, as I had been the first time I read it, I decided to post it here, just wanting to share to the readers 45 painful things in life...


1. Flashing your smile to someone you don't want to see
2. Bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget
3. Showing that you care
4. Finding a way to mend a broken heart
5. Learning that you've been used by someone you truly love
6. Saying 'I Love You' when you mean it and when you don't
7. Letting go of a person you've just learned to love
8. Realizing that you love somebody you've just taken for granted
9. Realizing that you love the person you've just broken up with
10. Waiting for promises you know he or she will never keep
11. Saying your love for someone who loves somebody else
12. Reminiscing the good times you shared together
13. Shielding your heart to love somebody
14. Trying to hide what you really feel
15. Having a commitment with someone that you know would not last
16. Trying to hide the tears that voluntarily fall from your eyes
17. Sharing the one you love with someone else
18. Loving a person too much
19. Giving up of someone you never thought of giving up
20. Falling in love for the first time
21. Loving someone you haven't seen
22. Having the right love at the wrong time
23. Exerting effort to make the relationship last or work
24. Not being appreciated when you know you've given your best
25. Taking the risk to fall in love again
26. Hiding your relationship from someone else
27. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend
28. Choosing between two persons whom you really love
29. Finding out that you can never have the person you just let go of
30. Seeing the person you love with someone else
31. Learning that the person who claimed to have loved you so much never really cared
32. Seeing the one you love fall for someone else
33. Falling for your best friend and knowing that things can never be the same again
34. Learning to trust after you have been betrayed
35. Accepting that it was not meant to be
36. Smiling when all you want to do is cry
37. Falling and knowing that it can never be
38. Not being able to love the person who truly cares for you
39. Saying that you can never love a person the way he or she loves you
40. Hearing that he or she can never love you the way that you love him or her
41. Saying that you are over someone you still love
42. Being friends again and learning to let go of each other because you both know it's better that way
43. Convincing yourself that you are not in love when you know that you are
44. Having to let go because you know that he or she deserves someone else
45. Trying not to remember how perfect everything used to be

Ended As Strangers

The next write-up, written on the 11th of August 2008 at around 10:25 p.m., was for someone named 'Choy'. This person used to be a very close friend but when we got tempted to indulge into a 'trial relationship' (at the time when both of our own relationships were on the rocks), sadly, the friendship ended. True to what they say, if you don't want to lose a friend, don't fall in love with them. And all the regrets I had when I came to the point of letting him go were poured down into this write-up. Having moved on, I could only remember all the lessons it taught me...


They always say be careful in letting someone go because you might regret it in the end. Well, perhaps they're right. Because now, I'm regretting why I did that single thing.

I thought then that that was the right thing to do especially that you've got your girl back and everything between us was very much complicated. So I chose to let go and give up my love for you. I knew firsthand that I was fighting a losing battle. I kept telling myself that I would move on and I would just give myself some time to adjust. I even told myself that I would soon love again...

But where am I now? I'm still stuck on the same ground that I am standing today. I haven't moved on... Stupid it may be, but I wish now that I haven't let go of what we had, regardless of how uncertain it may be. I wish I had the courage to hold on when things between us started to shake. But I was so weak. Perhaps because I was so afraid I'd get hurt again...

And yet, I haven't finished picking up my broken pieces. Everytime I try to fix it, there would always be a missing piece: You. Yes of course I've seen you countless of times with your girl and I do get hurt; but I realized I can endure those pains, as long as, somehow, you're still mine. But now you're gone. And I guess it'll stay that way forever. I regret everything, yes I do. But my greatest regret was when I let that single chance of telling you "I love you" slip away. I shouldn't have laughed about it. I should have admitted what I really felt...

But all's been said and done. I love you, but it would never change anything between us now. But if only it could, I would just like to let you know how much I would change Myself, the Relationship, and the End... I wish we'd never end up as what we are now: Strangers...

If It's Meant To Be

On the 4th of July 2009, at around 10:58 p.m., after contemplating with my feelings then for "Yan", I was able to make this short write-up that entails I was already in the point of Que sera, sera...

Yan,

You are and will always be the biggest part of my heart. I will never forget that once in my life, you became a special part of it. How I wish things were a lot different between us. How I wish things were less complicated. But I know God has a big purpose in everything that happened. So, I'm lifting all of these to Him. I may learn to love again... maybe more, or maybe less than the love I have for you.. who knows? But that love I had given you will remain yours. Nobody can take that away, ever. If we're meant to be, then in the end, we will be. But if not, then I'm confident I'll move on.

And from hereon, I'll be leaving everything to time and fate. Till then...