If Ever You're In My Arms Again

This next blog was written when I was in third year college for a presentation in our subject Humanities 11. Our instructor asked us to present a song which meant something to us and have an explanation as to why we chose that particular song and the song must be written in an indigenous material. At that time also, I just recently broke up with someone so dear to me, someone I’ll just name Honey, since he used to call me that when we were still together. And so, I chose the song If Ever You’re In My Arms Again by Peabo Bryson. I remember having written that song in a torn banana leaf and put droplets of melted crayons in it to symbolize my tears. And the message I delivered in tears in front of my instructor and classmates is the one written below. Unluckily, I forgot the exact date this was written but it was sometime on November 2007…

I chose this song not because this is my most favorite song, but because it hits me right on this spot (pointing to heart).

I know these people here who know about my present situation would really understand why. But I’d like to relate this to everyone here though I know I’d get many reactions. Besides, nasa humanities tayo. We have all the rights to express our feelings and thoughts.

You see, just like the lyrics of this song, I met someone. It was so easy to love him because he accepted me and loved me though he knows everything about my past. I do believe we all have our share of skeletons in our closets, but I was grateful that I haven’t heard any judgement from him. I was dead inside, but he brought it back to life. But the thing is, I kept on doing something that would end us arguing. Perhaps it was because immaturity, pride, and cupidity dominated in me. I always say I trust him, but my actions speak otherwise. I would annoy him and quarrel with him with such petty reasons. In short, I wasn’t an ideal girlfriend with him. I used to open topics that shouldn’t be tackled, just like “break-ups”. Until such time that he grew tired of understanding me because little did i know, sinasakal ko na pala siya. I was already expecting him to act and be something that he’s not. And that’s not healthy for a relationship. We broke up; and just then that I realized how much he means to me. Until now, I’m hoping against hope na sana I’d be given a second chance to right my wrongs. You know what hurt the most? It’s when, after we broke up, he told me he loves me but he could no longer stand my attitude. And that became an eye-opener to me. I finally admitted that everything was entirely my fault. He showed me his love and fidelity, but I would give back doubts on him. I was used kasi na pinapaasa lang sa wala kaya I did not believe him. Until such time he told me sinasaktan ko siya whenever I would question his faithfulness. I had him, I had his love; but I just wasted it. I was given a once in a lifetime chance, but I let it go.

And now, I would like to give this advice to everyone: Value the people you’re with right now, especially if it’s pretty lucid that they love you and that you’re important to them. People are gifts from God, you know, but they are not gonna be with you forever. Sooner or later, God will call them home. So give time and care to those you love now, while they are still around. I know, many of these multi-faceted classmates of mine here will give reactions like “Ows?”, “Char!”; but believe me, there will come a time in our lives that we will fall face flat to the floor and usually, the only persons who will help us get back to our feet are the ones we take for granted, the ones we ignore. Remember, regret is always in the end. All the “could’ve” and “would’ve” won’t bring back what is already lost. And as I have read a quote it says, “Of all the words of tongue and pen, the most painful is, ‘It could have been…’”

Life is beautiful; but it’s magical if you share it with someone you love and loves you back in return. When you have that rare opportunity, grab it, hold on to it, and never, ever let it go; because sometimes, there are no next times, no rewinds, and no second chances. And I can attest to that because I learned it the hard way.